The Queasys

Well I am nearly five weeks into this pregnancy and the past two days or so I have been hit with the queasys.  Bummer, but also, praise God!!!  So glad that I have the hormones that make me feel icky, because they are important for a healthy pregnancy, but it isn't the best feeling in the world.

 Honestly, I am one of those odd ducks that love everything about being prego! I even love saying "urgh, I feel sick to my tumm!" I love it because of what it means, it means I am blessed to be able to carry a baby! I am fully aware of the fact that not everyone is able to get pregnant very easy or even at all, and I would be so heart crushing not to be able to have little ones. Little ones I didn't honestly know how much I wanted, until God showed me what He had placed on my heart, and I was willing to look!
 I am pretty sure that for quite some time I took the call I felt God placed on my life and heart, and I shoved it in the closet, really pretty afraid of what it would mean in my life and how others would view me, I know how people felt about "Conservative Christians" and I knew how they felt about the "nuts" that let God direct their family size. I felt like from the time I gave my heart over to God when I was just nine years old, that God was calling me to be a mom, wife and woman that reflects His biblical standards.
 I think that if I am being honest, I knew he wanted me to have children, and more then 2.5 of "normal" Americans, I felt Him calling me to home school, even though I chose to ignore for the first few years of my children education, I knew with out a doubt that I was called to be a submissive wife to my husband, even if he wasn't "submissive worthy" at times, I knew that God had called me and set me apart,
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew^[a] you,
    before you were born I set you apart;
    I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” He wanted me to look different the the world.
Changing into the woman He has called me to has been, and still is a process. But now that I am walking in that calling, and being obedient to my Lord, I have never felt such joy, fulfillment,  and peace in my life! Despite the imperfections of my life right now, all seems right with the world, knowing that my God is in his rightful place in my life and in my heart.

Five or so years ago, while my husband and I were having a quiet morning of breakfast, bible time and prayer, (the kids were all in enrolled in Christian School at the time, so we had time every Monday mornings to be alone...gone are the days...sigh...moving on... ) we read scripture that Eric had laid on his heart earlier in the week, it was Psalms 127:1 The part Eric had on his heart was "Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. "
 We poured over what this meant. And we read the verses after, 

Sons are a heritage from the Lord,
    children a reward from him.
 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
    are sons born in one’s youth.
 Blessed is the man
    whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
    when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

( verses I need to be taking to heart right now, as I am so nervous to tell other we are expecting again!!!) 

and we both knew what God was calling us to, He desired to have our whole hearts, our lives given over to Him  in faith and trust in His perfect will for our lives. We knew He was placing on our hearts to have more children.  

  This was scary! Still is!! But we both agreed that we wanted more then anything, to be in Gods will for our lives, to let Him be the master builder of our "house" .

  

 So that is why I am here today, two babies later! We had Lilah 19 months ago and now joyfully expecting our fifth baby! 

 I have no idea what will come after little baby boy or girl ( I think boy!) if we will have more or if we won't, I do know, with out any doubt, that I trust my almighty Father in heaven with my whole life and still desire more then anything to be in the center of His will for my life. 

SO there ya have it! The reason for the blogs title and here we are! 

 I want to make sure that y'all know, I don't think EVERYONE should have baby after baby, and I don't think if you don't that your somehow "less Christian" or that your are wrong, I know that God places different convictions on different peoples lives and I think it best not to go around judging others for where they are or are not in comparison to yourself! Not good! Let us uplift one another and try our best to have understanding in our hearts, even when we don't agree. 

 Thanks a bunch for spending time with me, reading my little blog! 

 May the Lord bless you and your family!!